Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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