Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
