My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
