that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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