She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Randomize
