We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize