I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
COCAINE IS GR8
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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