We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
