The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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