i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Randomize
