Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
This is the high leading the old right now
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
