dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
