after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
