If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
