Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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