strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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