He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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