Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
