Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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