I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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