so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Two words: nipple clamps
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