how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
