Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
