eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
