i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He has the fingertips of a God
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