Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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