We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
