So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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