office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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