i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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