Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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