Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I need help removing her.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
