Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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