just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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