what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
