why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
