you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
