He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
