Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
