xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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