About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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