They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize