I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
