You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I could make wine with my vomit
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
