yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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