i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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