I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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