i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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