Only a mothe r could love this liver
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
