I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
