You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
