I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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