I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
