Yo dont text me then not text me
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
