He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
