That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize