i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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