what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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